Rather than what you need to learn, what do you need to unlearn? The question no one asks and self-limiting beliefs.
Everyone encourages you to learn.
It’s a great message to have in this day and age. Once upon a time education was exclusive, preserved only for the upper echelons of society. Universities were devised for scholars and the pursuits of the rich and noble.
There was little to no upward class mobility, as the poor were excluded from education.
Now we have the university of Google, of Youtube. Of Udemy. Now education is becoming much less mainstream, regulated, but more accessible.
It’s one of the many reasons I’ve held Tim Ferris in high regard for so long. One of my favourite lessons from him is that in truth, you can learn 80% of the content of almost anything in a relatively short time frame.
Richard Branson in Business Stripped Bare relays the same point. Most new areas that Virgin broke into were largely industries with content to master.
Ok so we need to learn!
I’m still very far away from these titans of industry, but my own journey has taught me the value of learning fast — in business and in life.
We’re getting better at asking “what do I need to learn?”. But a question people rarely ever ask, is the inverse. The opposite. The mirror image.
“What do I need to unlearn?”
What are you getting at Joe?
I’m a big fan of humanistic psychology, which is a school of psychology that emphasises the individual’s ability to progress and develop themselves. I’ve also seen first hand the power of the mind.
I’ve listened intently to my own experiences and scrutinised over how behaviour interacts with mentality and psychology.
As part of my journey with Sydney Listings Academy I’ve also studied, observed, and reflected on investors.
And it has been when observing success, as well as failure, that I’ve picked up on something. That is that people who progress don’t necessarily just layer things on — they overcome certain erroneous beliefs. On the flip side, I’ve observed just how frequently people get in their own way.
People getting in their own way. Ignoring what looks like clear logic.
And it happens time and time again.
I’ve seen it in property, and I’ve seen it outside of property. One of the greatest examples ever is the 4 minute mile.
The 4 Minute Mile
People used to think that it was impossible to rune a mile in less than 4 minutes. For a very long time, no one could run a mile in under 4 minutes.
That’s of course until 1954, when Roger Bannister successfully ran a mile in three minutes, fifty-nine and four-tenths of a second. And what was it about Bannister that allowed him to break through this milestone? The answer will interest you.
Bannister was known as being a lone wolf, bucking the trend of taking on external professional coaches. He “took on his own approach for preparing to race”. On the surface, this makes sense. Because the easiest way to develop your own self-limiting beliefs is to pick them up from other people.
Will Smith’s portrayal of Chris Gardener in Pursuit of Happyness hammers this point home perfectly here.
Bannister’s approach seems to have protected his mind from other coaches and external sources who would not have believed running a mile in under 4 minutes was possible.
HOW CAN SOMEONE COACH AND INSPIRE YOU IF THEY SET A CEILING ON YOU?
The thing about the 4 minute mile? After Bannister did it, everyone started doing it. Now people run a mile in much less than 4 minutes.
“Over the last half century, more than a thousand runners have conquered a barrier that had once been considered hopelessly out of reach.” — Harvard Business Review
Social Anxiety Disorder
Do you know how social anxiety disorder works? Obviously it is not by choice! Or a matter of personal weakness. But it does absolutely work on the back of poisonous self-beliefs, as is the case with most if not all mental illness.
People with social anxiety disorder tend to perceive that they are socially awkward. This becomes a chicken-egg situation. A girl at a party might stare at a socially awkward young man because she finds him interesting… but the socially awkward young man interprets her staring to mean something else: That she finds him bizarre, and awkward.
This belief then becomes self-fulling, forcing the young man to act more awkwardly, drawing a more awkward reaction out of the girl and the crowd.
Unfortunately, if the socially awkward young man simply behaved confidently, evidence suggests he would have no problems. But these beliefs are not easily unlearned.
People react positively to eye contact and warmth in body language. Thanks to evolution, these signal safety. When socially awkward people avert their gaze, and shrivel up, they send red flags.
My Own Examples
When I started Sydney Listings for example, one of the biggest obstacles I created for myself was worrying that I was too young. Too young to attract older people to work for the company, and too young to win clients.
Well, this one turned out to be a complete farce. In just 2 years I had little issue in the end creating enough confidence for others to join my team. This is despite being the only owner or member in the business. I also managed to win a few listings and have never seen age come up.
If you’re good enough, you’re old enough, and evidence for this is everywhere. I see other young people in business paranoid about their age, and project it onto clients. This kind of cycle becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I’ve had to unlearn a fear of negotiation, a fear of being direct, a fear of going against the grain, a fear of not taking certain advice from people I respect and who ARE successful in other areas… I’ve even had to unlearn the fear of talking on the phone!
INVESTORS
I have my own philosophy on Investment, and my definition is a lot wider than most people’s. To me you can invest with many things, not just money. Time is a major thing we can invest for example.
To be a successful investor you can’t afford to have a major risk aversion. You also must be strong at delayed gratification. If you’re not capable of putting off a short-term distraction or pay out for a longer-term reward, you can’t invest as successfully as others.
So why Unlearning, not just Learning?
You can argue that there is no such thing as unlearning as all unlearning can merely be described as learning in a different direction. Obviously there is a more traditional understanding of unlearning which is to reverse a particular habit or behaviour.
This is the real focus I’m discussing here. If I’ve never kicked a soccer ball before, I need to learn how to kick — straightforward. But if I’ve grown up toe-punting, instead of kicking with the inside of my toe and foot, then I need to unlearn toe-punting as a habit first.
It’s useful to use the idea of unlearning because we are referring to bad habits or thought patterns that seriously restrain our potential. Sometimes these things don’t really need to be replaced with anything in particular, they just need to cease getting in the way.
Thanks for Reading! Nothing makes me more excited than people reading my stuff, this has always been one of my dreams… to write! It took me a while but hey, I’m still a young guy!
I also hang out on Instagram and LinkedIN. In case you don’t find me boring :)
